I am about to talk some serious shit.
Oh lord Jesus in Heaven, deliver us from atrocious scene partners.
My current affliction, man there’s just no nice way to say it, is stupid as shit. In the scene we’re doing from “Waiting for Godot,” they want to hang themselves, but they don’t have a rope. Gogo says, “What about my belt?” and then they test the strength of [something] to see if it will hold them. Miss Scenepartner says, “Okay, so we’re going to need a rope and a belt.” I stare at her for a moment, hoping that she’s putting me on, and as she stares blankly back, I realize that she doesn’t understand that they’re planning on using Gogo’s belt in place of a rope for the hanging. After I explain this, she still keeps acting like the belt isn’t on her person – indicating its presence somewhere a few feet from her every time she talks about it. My mother said, “Well maybe she’s just never read the play before; it can be difficult.” True, though I don’t think this particular moment is much of a intellectual leap, BUT Miss Scenepartner has actually done this scene before! She’s taking Adv. Scene Study for a second time!!! She also kept trying to bring chairs on stage, though the script clearly says there is only a tree and a mound. She’s also telling me how she hunched when she played Didi, my character – I think the implication was that I should hunch in a similar fashion (may I also mention that the actual statement was, “But I didn’t feel comfortable really hunching, so I just lowered my head.”) And doing things like coming up directly behind me to talk to me, meaning that I either have to completely turn my back on the audience to converse or I have to scamper away to deliver my lines; I chose the latter.
Holy Christ. How is she in this class? Not to mention, and it’s about to get even uglier, I totally saw this one coming. She is a total gamer, similar to those that populated my college, but viciously unwashed, unlike Mac gamers that looked as if they’d had a shower at least recently. I realize that it’s totally wrong to look at someone and make snap judgments, but everything about her appearance said, “I am really weird and have poor social skills.” She lived up to both statements just magnificently today. I was reminded quite forcefully of a moment in a Shakespeare class from college – Some people know the moment of which I speak. Sadly, my roommate does not remember Emily, and thus my recreation of, “And maybe it’s all stormy and Lady Macbeth is like a vampire, like a bat hovering at his window saying, “Let me in! Let me in!” and he doesn’t want to, but he has to because she’s his wife,” was lost on him.
I’m really hoping John dumped Miss Scenepartner on me now so that I won’t have to do a longer scene with her later. I really can’t hack it. I’m not amazing, not expecting an Academy Award in my lifetime, but some people just need to be told that spending $300 on an acting class is just not a good use of their hard-earned money. Anyone judging me right now: I know we’re all supposed to be nice, but in real life you wouldn’t want her either.
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