Oh dear look at me
I’ve just been a bad little blogger, now haven’t I? Today, we will concern ourselves variously with the topic of boys. Some stories are funny, some are moving, and some just portray me as slutty.
First, to return to the comment from 10/27: “I was so perplexed by the audacity of his boringness.” In what is just heaps of dorkishness, there is a Logan Square group on myspace. And, lord help us, for a while we were trying to get together one night a week for drinks, presumably to outhipster each other and claim deeper knowledge about the neighborhood. The relatively popping message board was killed by the arrival of a new member, who instantly astounded us all with his awkwardness, seeming desperation for friends, and general oversharing. Jesus, long story short – I agree with another chick in the group, that I’m going to show up for Thursday, but that she’d better be there as well because we all know that sad sack is going to be there. Which he is, along with another girl from the group. No sooner do I rock up, than she positively bolts from her chair, saying she had to go. I suspect her of lying, since she chatted with some other guy for ten minutes before leaving. For the love of god, I have never met a more boring individual in my life. At one point I look over at these two guys at the end of the bar; one of them makes eye contact with me, I give him a look of clear bored-silliness, and he turns back to his friend with a clear gesture of, “Oh god, yeah. That chick is so bored.” I finally bailed when he started talking about multiplying matrices. Pre-calculus is no one’s bar talk friend. Em never turns up. This wouldn’t be so bad if he were, say, twenty, and still had some time to develop social graces. But he’s over thirty; I think the coolness ship has sailed. Anyway, since then, literally no one has communicated on the board. He has successfully killed internet dorkiness in LS.
On to slut-a-rama. I took home a koala (BotW) from a Halloween party last week. My happiness in his intense interest in me has been tempered the last few days by a drunk dial at 3am (though my friend Marty correctly points out that there are two people to blame in a drunk dial) and then not calling when he was supposed to, and really (and I mean really) horrendous snoring. The last is kind of a deal breaker for me; I just can’t sleep! But someone’s trained him well, so he’ll be kept around for a while(see, that’s 2 for 3). Truth be told, I think he’s really just losing out to my
Husband. Christopher, please excuse the half-drunk email I sent you that night; I’d had a few. I had to take a shot of tequila just to leave the house!!!! Never in my life have I become so panic-stricken at the thought of seeing someone. When David told me he planned on introducing us, I was quite literally hysterical. Luckily, all he did was wave to him and then say, “Is that him?” and point in his direction. I think the incredible red color my face turned (and is turning now) deterred him from further action. Sure, if I plan on making him my husband, you might think that I would have to meet him, but that’s where you’re all wrong. I feel like getting him into an arranged marriage would be much easier than having to actually speak in his direction. I have never felt so silly in my life, yet the heart palpitations I’m currently experiencing assure me that my love is true. Ultimately, he is talented and becoming both respected and accomplished (amongst a narrow group of people, but still). As tested time and time again, these are not the kind of men with whom I can have relationships. See the paragraph above for an explanation of par for the course. When did I turn into a tittering girl? Sure, I espouse the tried and true method of gaining the attention of someone you like by ignoring them completely, but tittering? I have no recollection of tittering before.
Oh and I’d completely forgotten: Turns out all the other girls in the touching people class were experiencing similar degrees of bad touches from the Molesty Two. One’s fingernails raked my mysteriously exposed stomach as I wriggled away while he was trying to gain purchase last night. Ew.
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