Adventures in Public Grooming
The worst PG I’ve seen was only a guy continuing to clip his fingernails on the train after some of the clippings hit another angry commuter.
It pales in comparison to one un/lucky commuter’s ride on Seattle bus system. Via Last Days/The Stranger:
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5 “Holy fucking shit,” writes Hot Tipper Levi. “I really don’t know what else to say after what I just witnessed on the #28 bus, which I will now try to recount as accurately as possible. The subject: a white male in his 30s, pudgy, with blond hair and a touristy fisherman-type hat. On his lap was a large, bulky backpack. When I first noticed him, he was putting on a pair of white cotton gloves. Once gloved, he reached into the backpack and extracted a stethoscope, which he used to listen to his right kneecap and right ankle. Having now commanded the peripheral attention of all nearby riders, Mr. Backpack produced a pair of needle-nose pliers, which he inserted into his right nostril and yanked, maintaining a completely straight face. He then produced a Bank of America deposit envelope, into which he placed his yanked nose hairs. By this point, I was staring openly. With the bus bumping along, the man plunged the pliers repeatedly into both nostrils—at least eight times—each time carefully scraping the removed hairs into the envelope. When he was done, he folded up the envelope and placed it, along with the pliers, into the backpack. I will admit that this was the climax, but it was not the end. The man then produced a cell phone, which he used to call an unknown third party, to whom he confessed he’d forgotten what he was supposed to do for the rest of the day, then hung up. He then produced another phone, which he held at arm’s length and used to snap a picture of himself. He then returned to the first phone and called information, asking for the number of the Sunset Bowl in Ballard. Then he shuffled through his wallet, laughed hysterically at something inside, and got off the bus somewhere in Fremont. I don’t know what to say. I am a changed man.”
