More Fun from My Closet
Today’s adventures included a trip through time via scraps of paper. While I could ask you to thrill to pathetic letters I wrote to my Academic Decathalon coach (I was afraid I’d cry in front of everyone if I wasn’t chosen for the Nationals team) or love letters I’ve received involving angst and poor penmanship, I’ve instead chosen to dilvulge an essay that never saw the light of day.
For AP Comp, we were asked to write letters to the authors of the books we’d chosen to read. My friend, Eric, was having trouble penning this rather foolish assignment, so my other friend, Maryanne, and I wrote it for him.
Eric
3/6/98
AP Comp Per. 4
Mr. English
Dear Benjamin Franklin,
I have just recently completed reading your autobiography, and I realized that I have many things in common with you. When I read about you and your adventures in America, I was enthralled with your description and sightseeing images. However, I was appalled at the way the book soon got drab and boring. What trouble I had to go through to finish the book! I wanted so badly to read your story, for I have always been a tireless fan of your theories and ideas, but being the slow-reader that I am, I was left with my eyes tired and wet every night. I finally had my mother come read me the last two chapters while I sipped my hot tea in bed, and cuddled my teddy bear. She thought it was boring too. So did Teddy.
I liked the part where you did the thing with the lighting. I was struck as a young boy and this reminded me of my stay in the hospital. Teddy was there, too. I feel that this explains why I had so much trouble finishing your book. I wanted to know what color ink you used to sign the Declaration of Independence. I have this fetish for pastel colored pens, and I wanted to know if that color ink existed back before the wheel was invented, you know when you were alive. Oh wait, you probably didn’t have the luxury of having a teddy to cuddle, since Teddy Roosevelt was not alive yet.
My partner for this reading project, Fard, was very enthusiastic about choosing your book for this project. However, I have become even more annoyed by his choice as the days go by. Now that I think about it, I don’t have too much in common with you, you just remind me of my partner Fard! Why? Because both of you are incredibly boring and the words are too big. Did everything you write actually happen in your life? I have to disagree. There were a couple stories that I had trouble digesting, but I guess I could tell myself that it is part of your life.
Well, I did find out some new things in the course of reading your piece of literature. I found out that I don’t like tea, and that my mother gets a little worried when I cannot read on my own. I suppose you should be commended for all the time you spent writing your book. Thank you for the book.
Sincerely,
Eric and Teddy
Kudos to the OCR on this scanner. Typing this out would not have been worth it!
