Completely Unnecessary

The Boston Globe reports that the Pentagon is considering installing video cameras in its recruiting stations to prevent “misconduct.” This misconduct includes, but is not limited to: sexually assaulting female recruits!

Both analysts and the Pentagon said sexual misconduct is among the most pressing issues of recruiter wrongdoing. An investigation by the Associated Press found that in 2005, at least 80 male recruiters were disciplined for abusing female potential recruits.

More than 100 young women who had expressed interest in joining the military reported that their recruiters had victimized them, the AP investigation found. The abuse included rape on couches in recruiting offices, assaults in government cars, and gropings en route to military entrance exams.

Now, granted, you have to make sure they’re not lesbians, but I’m not sure this is the best way to meet your quota for the month. Grope her after the exam.

The Pentagon also recently introduced “buddy system” for recruiters interacting with potential recruits of the opposite sex. They seriously have to put a third person in the room to prevent “irregularities.” Presumably, most military recruiters aren’t interested in a threesome if it’s boy-girl-boy. That’d be totally gay.

Also, happy fourth birthday to the Iraq War. If you were a child, we’d be sending you to preschool this year! Instead, we’ll just continue to watch in horror as you murder hundreds of thousands of people, empty our coffers, and make us the most hated people on the face of the earth. Man! The ‘terrible twos’ are lasting forever!

Vaguely Related

• Basic Training
• Women and the World: It’s Not Going Well.