Completely Unnecessary

Lest you find yourself outed for visiting D.C. callgirls.

The leftwing blogophere is abuzz with news that Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias submitted his resignation. Another Bush official leaving their post? That’s not news, but buzz buzz about the fact that he’d been a customer of a D.C. escort service.

Now I don’t much care what people do with their free time, so I was kind of unimpressed with this story at first. But! I do love me a good sex-havin’ hypocrite story, so I’m back on board.

Turns out that Tobias used to be Bush’s Global AIDS Coordinator (or Czar!) and suggested that HIV/AIDS could be best fought with… wait for it… abstinence. In 2004 Tobias:

said that promoting abstinence and monogamy are “far more effective” than distributing condoms for preventing the spread of HIV, according to Agence France-Presse. “Statistics show that condoms really have not been very effective,” Tobias said, adding, “It’s been the principal prevention device for the last 20 years, and I think one needs only to look at what’s happening with the infection rates in the world to recognize that has not been working.”

Obviously, because every single person in the world used a condom every single time they had sex. Thusly, if HIV rates went up, it’s the fault of condoms. Logical.

Tobias said, “What the Ugandans have proven is that if you can get young people — and the results show that you can — to understand how AIDS is spread and to delay the age at which they become sexually active, and then if you can get people who are sexually active to reduce hopefully to one the number of partners, they have proven to be the two most effective approaches to prevention.”Tobias added, “The message to young people in the schools is not either ‘Be abstinent or here are condoms, take your pick.’ It is a message of ‘Be abstinent.’

Tobias also added: “After you get married, of course, you can have all the sex massages from escorts you want.”

My favorite part of the story is that, “recently he had been using another service ‘with Central Americans’ to provide massages.” Sure it’s amazing that Tobias felt the need to point that out, but Brian Ross’ hilarious quotes make it something special.

h/t: ThinkProgress

Quotes from Kaiser Family Foundation

Sphere: Related Content

Vaguely Related

• You there, quit it.
• Sweet, passionate success.