Completely Unnecessary

(A) Riding down the sidewalk at 11pm, a man sounds his horn for a long period of time. I stop and look over, expecting to find some kind of graphic traffic incident, in time to see a window rolled down and a man shove his arm out the window screaming, “Fucking idiot!” The most shocking detail about this incident is that he is apparently shouting at me. This is surprising because a) I have not interacted with this man in any way, and b) am not only across the road, but on the sidewalk and across the median. There is no way this human encountered me, except for the screaming.

It’s hard to be offended by something you don’t understand.

(B) Sam and I decide to have a glass of wine on the grassy strip in front of my house. 1.5 glasses in, a man pulls up in a car. “Are you the girl who was reading here with a sheet over her the other day?” he asks. I allow that I was indeed the said girl. He holds a bottle of wine out the window, noting that it is not only organic, but apparently pressed by the same feet that painted the label. I grab a corkscrew and and extra glass; he grabs the $1500 gramophone purchased by his girlfriend. We listen to the delightful strains of a 1920s baritone - he sings two songs about green dragons, brave sailors, and octopi - before we are joined by a friend of the first guy. Later some other kid appears from the road. We learn explicitly that he likes to compose music while drinking red wine - we learn implicitly that this kid is just kind of a tool.

Eventually we are yelled at by various neighbours, and fair enough - the gramophone manages to amplify at a considerable volume. We decide that this is something better reserved for a Sunday afternoon, rather than a Sunday midnight.

And now it’s 2am! I fed people various crackers with blue cheese and drank foot-pressed wine. What more could one want from an evening?

Oh yeah. Studying. Um… yes. Instead, let’s talk about how obnoxious my spelling is getting! It’s not my fault; I have to spell this way for school, adding random u’s and putting s’s in the place of z’s. Dear, how annoying. Luckily my Chicago/American accent is getting worse this time, not more Aussie. The way I pronounce ‘Carlton’ no one can understand, so…. great!

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