Completely Unnecessary

One of my favorite stories that demonstrating the differences between American and Australian culture (besides the shocking lack of meat pies in the former) is a conversation I had with my old housemate.

Ben: No, we can’t just slide the key back under the door because it would defeat the purpose of the deadbolt.

Me: How?

Ben: The purpose of a deadbolt is to keep people from opening the door from the inside if they break in. Then they can’t take the big things.

Me: No. The purpose of a deadbolt is to prevent someone from using a crowbar on your door to get in.

Ben and I then looked at each other for a while and pondered the differences in our life experiences.

These differences have also been highlighted over the last couple days. I went to a charity footy match on Sunday, during which a lost child announcement was made over the loudspeaker.

Announcer 1: We have a lost child at the booth.

Announcer 2: Well, that’s a new record.

Announcer 1: His name is Jason [or something] and he’s about four years old. He’d like his father Jeff to come collect him.

Now, firstly, one would hope that Jeff, upon hearing the words “lost child” would immmediately head to the booth to collect the child for which he had been frantically searching. I don’t think he was sitting there with a VB until his name was called (though it’s certianly not impossible). Secondly, I immediately turned to Sam and said, “Why are they broadcasting their names!?!” In my world, it is apparently as easy to collect a child as, say, lost money. You don’t call out, “We have $50 here at the booth. If it’s yours, please come collect it.” Sam said, “Wow. It is different in America, isn’t it?”

I have also recently discovered the joys of drying my clothes at the laundry mat. For two dollars, my clothes are dry in 30 minutes and actually fit. It has brought me immense joy. The first two times I went, however, I didn’t have the dollar coins I needed, so I asked a person if they would keep their eyes on my clothes while I ran down to the milk bar. Both times, the people nodded politely, if somewhat bemusedly.

Today, as I was drying my clothes, I realized that I needed to return a book to the library and lamented the fact that I hadn’t brought it with me. Suddenly, I realized that it was probably possible to leave your clothes in the dryer and find them still there when you come back. I also realized that, of the three times I’ve visited, I have been the only person to sit there waiting for their clothes, and certainly the only person who brought a book.

People do not burgle small children and clothing here. It is a lucky country indeed.

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