This Week In Lessons Learnt
Two things:
Firstly, having lived in the American south and worked in a number of hospitality jobs, I’ve developed the habit of calling random people ‘honey” or “darling” or any number of other little pet names. This is especially true of strangers/customers. Oh and people whose names I can’t recall.
It’s important to be able to turn this off, however, in situations where it might do more harm than good. For instance: while watching a rugby match with a group that includes an extremely drunk Kiwi. Inadvertently calling him “honey” might only yield further unintelligible, slurry “conversation” and inappropriate touching, which will eventually lead you to say, “You don’t know me, can you keep your hands to yourself?” It will also lead to an amazing picture (which is on Sam’s camera, but I’ll post when she gets back).
Item the second: When you’re washing your French press (coffee plunger, aussies) and looking at the crack in its side thinking, “Man, this is really going to break,” remove your hand from inside it. Otherwise, it will indeed break, creating a large slice in the top of your index finger. You will then cause havoc in the household as your friends attempt to find something to stop the bleeding, argue over whether a trip to hospital is in order, and piece your hand back together. Note: you will not pass out if you stare intently at the tea bags on the counter; your paleness, however, will vaguely terrify your friends. Luckily they will recover from this, and you will spend the entire evening with your hand in the air, while they crack jokes like, “Raise your hand if you’re an idiot.”
Your friends will be inexplicably better at first aid than jokes.
It’s amazing the number of things for which your dominant index finger is necessary. Brushing your teeth, for instance. Try brushing them with your non-dominant hand tonight. It’s exciting in both its slowness and general ineffectiveness.
Also, blogging. (And the dishes, hurrah!)
ps - kudos to Charlie for fixing me. Sam’s mom, who is a nurse, says ‘nice work.’
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July 3rd, 2007 at 2:36 am
Now you can develop a very helpful phobia of washing dishes (in particular glassware). I know that I am always a little scared of pushing my hand down inside glasses after that wine glass popped on me (I just trembled a little while typing that…). Sorry lady, that sucks.
I like the raise your hand joke.