Items of Dubious Utility
With the departure of James, I decided it was time for the swamp/cesspool that is my kitchen to have a major overhaul. My greatest regret in life (aside from the lovely waiter at Abril seeing the face I made when he put one of those gross cherries in my milkshake in about 1996) is that I did not take ‘before’ pictures.
After the jump, a (regrettably incomplete) photo essay through the items I discovered - some might be temped to use the word ‘excavated’ - during my five hours in the kitchen yesterday:
These shiny items were in the silverware drawer; I have no idea what they are, but one is a duck:
Enough loose-leaf tea thingies for a small army:
Whatever it is that these things are:
One vegetable peeler per resident:
These nearly 20 knives, that make up in quantity what they lack in any degree of sharpness:
A lone fondue fork, evidence of lonely fondue nights past:
All the necessary parts for the electric knife:
This highly-functional garlic press:
An electricity bill from 1998:
Amongst the flotsam and jetsam I also found a grocery store customer loyality card from 1999, a sessions listing for the Nova Cinema from when Good Will Hunting and In the Company of Men were playing, and three - yes three! - springform pans. If it ever comes to having to make three cheesecakes at once, I’m in more trouble than a simple springform pan can solve.
And, of course, the end results:
Only Sam is going to understand the true impact of these pictures, but I wanted to put it out there for you all. Turns out the shelves are WHITE!?!?! Who knew.
Sphere: Related Content
July 30th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Hey - that big silver knife is mine and actually quite sharp! I left it so you would be able to cut stuff! Put a tea thingy in the mail for me….and I think the red peeler is mine too! I expect them both by express post - along with those baskets you know I love ; ) Meanwhile wtf are those mini-duck fork thingys? Those clear things are salad servers - and those yelllow things are measuring spoons….with holes in them…useful…obviously…
You should be written up as a true heroine in the history of the Blue House! You are to [the Blue House] as Harry Potter is to the Wizard World. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to share the experience, work and hilarity. I can’t believe how fucking clean it all looks….
July 31st, 2007 at 7:08 am
they look like absinthe spoons. You should get rid of the extra fridges. those things suck up a lot of electricity.
August 3rd, 2007 at 11:14 am
Thanks Sam - I know you’re trying to up my stalker quotent, but I’m gonna try to keep my address private.
As for Dan, we now have one fridge. Just one - all thanks to Bryan, who even wants to share milk with me. Of all the housemates that have just moved in, he’s my favorite.
August 9th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
The lone fondue fork was mine (note past tense…it’s floating randomly in someone else’s house for a reason!) - I picked it up in an op shop in Apollo Bay when camping. It is an excellent marshmallow stick
August 10th, 2007 at 6:55 am
I think the two-sided yellow thing is a melon-baller. I was going to guess that the assortment of picture things with the duck was a fondue set, but they look too small. Maybe they’re fancy cocktail sticks? Put an olive or something on the pointy end and then you know your glass is the one with the duck stick? Just an idea…