Completely Unnecessary

My on-fireness refers to the nuggets of hilarity I’ve been dosing out today. Call it being completely overtired, but I have been on a roll all day.

Well, at least to me. And I’m sharing. And you appear to be reading.

A strange dynamic has occurred in one of my classes. Of the three people that talk consistently, I am the political moderate. To my right we have Tim, who assured me today that deep down in my heart I secretly love Margaret Thatcher.

To my left is “Jenny”, a pinko Marxist if ever there was one, who manages to work NAFTA into the most unlikely and inappropriate contexts. She hearts Noam Chomsky like no one has ever hearted him before.

Four weeks ago the class began with Jenny and I more or less on the same team, as I’m more naturally inclined to lean left. As her monologues have gotten longer and less cogent, however, Tim and I have formed a strange little unit. Its sole purpose is the destruction of Lisa’s will, in the hopes of ceasing her useless rambling. Along with Jackie, who mumbles “I hate her” every time Jenny speaks, we have taken to sitting at the same table, passing notes like 7th graders.

“Do you think I can write my paper on Jenny’s political communication style?”, I wrote, provoking a snort from Jackie.

During lunch, I explained to Violeta that the reason why the “Alcohol and the Media: Someone Please Help Me” thesis is so genius is that she’d be using her thesis as a cry for help.

“Doesn’t everybody?” she noted.

Truer words have never been spoken, but we teased out the thesis a bit further. After a thorough Literature Review would come the Analysis.

Analysis

I’m not in such a good place right now.

Only 9991 words to go. There was more snorting (mine) and tears pouring down our faces.

Oh dear. I wonder how long the hilarity will last. In all likelihood I’ll just be grumpy tomorrow instead of funny.

In all likelihood I wasn’t funny today.

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