Completely Unnecessary

Jenny and I saw a bald eagle cruising through the frigid Iowa air this morning. We figured it boded well for democracy on this, the most archaic of electoral days.

Unfortunately, Mike Huckabee ruined the very Midwesterness that only small town Iowa can provide: awesome sub sandwiches.

Selecting a sub is much like caucusing. Jenny’s family strongly backed a sandwich called The Chandlebaum. It bears five kinds of meat, a strong selling point. I was very nearly swayed by their arguments, but - as you may have noticed - I have an independent streak. I internally debated the merits of the vegetarian versus the tuna, eventually settling on tuna.

I tried to choose a corner in the house to stake my fishy claim, but this seemed to weird the family out, so I went back to the living room.

Having settled our sandwich preferences, we called to order from the local deli only to find that Mike Huckabee’s people had come through and eaten all the bread. We were forced to order elsewhere.

This is only the latest in the series of Huckabee sins, though this is of an obviously personal nature making it all the more offensive.

Let all Iowa Republicans know that Mike Huckabee singlehandedly destroyed deliberative democracy in the Godar household. Think what he will do to America.

Huckaboo.

Vaguely Related

• Presidential Contusions
• Obama as Vice President?