Threat Vortex Moving Closer to My Mother
First it was cougars. Cougars (well, a cougar) five blocks from my house.
Now it’s an armed standoff a mere three blocks away. And by standoff, I mean a guy in his house for 2.5 hours before surrendering peacefully to police.
Someone go protect my mother before Kalashnikov-wielding pandas descend on the family home.
Actually, someone protect the pandas. She will not take kindly to someone coming in and messing up her dining room table, no sir.
I’m not even allowed to set my water bottle on it; imagine the mess with pandas!
ps - Make sure to check out the Tribune’s helpful ‘Area of Threat’ map. Though, arguably, one could just zoom in on the coach house where a single individual was holed up rather than calling it an ‘area.’ Hilariously, the url it reads ‘lakeview-threat-map.’ Love it.
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