Completely Unnecessary

It’s a question that - I swear to god - didn’t occur to me until today.

With the race seemingly tightening up, it might be time to have a look.

In Illinois, the governor replaces the sitting Senator until the next Congressional election. This means that Rod Blagojevich (D) will fill Obama’s seat and that person will be up for re-election in 2010.

For those of you not from Illinois - here’s the political lay of the land:

Blagojevich essentially comes from the Chicago Machine, but has a weird relationship to it. He’s the son-in-law of Chicago boss Dick Mell, who put him in the governor’s office. Blago and Mell, however, more or less openly dislike each other.

Blagojevich’s other main problem is Illinois House Speaker and IL Democratic Party Leader Mike Madigan, who pretty much hates his guts. Madigan has done everything in his power to thwart Blagojevich over the last few years. Madigan’s daughter, Lisa Madigan, is the Attorney General and a likely candidate for governor in 2010.

Not that Blago has helped himself much. He’s almost certainly had some quite dirty dealings, and it most likely ‘Public Official A’ in Peter Fitzgerald’s most recent excursion into Illinois corruption. Between this and the Congressional gridlock he’s helped to create, Illinois voters are extremely pissed off.

Sure they returned him to office in 2006, but his opponent Judy Baar Topinka inspired a lot of nose-holding for downstate Republicans as well. The Green Party candidate got over 10% in that election, which is pretty unheard of for a third-party candidate in a gubernatorial election.

All caught up?

With this much hatred to spare, Blagojevich is likely to make a strategic appointment. He’s got enemies pretty much everywhere, but a couple of names stand out for consideration.

Lisa Madigan - she’s the Attorney General and well-liked. She’s likely to challenge him in 2010, so putting her in the Senate might keep her out the way. She’d have to choose between renewing her Senate seat or going for Blagojevich’s.

Any of the Chicago US House delegation - He’d get to make nice with the Machine, and appointing an African-American, like Davis, Rush or Jackson Jr., would give him support from the South Side in 2010.

Dan Hynes - Illinois Comptroller. Another likely candidate in 2010 - though one with less chance of beating Blagojevich in a primary. Would make Machine people happy though, and maybe get them off Blagojevich’s back.

Jim Oberweis - because it’s the only way Jim Oberweis is every going to get elected anything. Seriously, how freaking amazing would that be? I mean, aside from the reality of it.

Alan Keyes - is he still carpetbagging with us? He was Obama’s opponent in 2004, and… nah, can’t even write the end of that sentence seriously.

The Daily Herald also suggests Alexi Giannoulias, the State Treasurer, who Obama likes a lot. Bill Daley, the brother of Mayor Richard M. Daley. That seems over the top - I think people would be pretty up in arms about a Daley getting to the Senate without dead people voting for it or anything.

The DH also points out that Blagojevich could appoint himself and basically get the hell out of Illinois. The governor gig isn’t going so well, to be sure, but he’d be up again in 2010. I think once people picked their jaws up off the floor, they’d vote him straight out. Plus, the Democrats don’t need one of their senators dealing with corruption charges, which will almost certainly feature in Blago’s near future.

I’m not counting my chickens just yet, but it’s interesting to think about. And I know nothing about Arizona internal politics, so… yeah, who knows what happens if McCain wins?

God, you just know Jim Oberweis has thought about calling up Blago and offering his service.

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Oh, come on!

It’s hard to argue with this:

The Dodgers reached the National League Championship Series as the Cubs held to form, falling apart in October.

All y’all who don’t believe in The Curse, believe and weep. Sigh. That’s why I don’t even watch this shit anymore. (Well, that and it’s entirely not available where I live - the cricket will be on soon, though…)

For. God’s. Sake.

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[Ed note - sorry, this was supposed to publish late last night and failed somehow. The miracle of technology.]

I’m not a big fan of Chicago Tribune columnist, Dennis Byrne. (If you’re googling yourself again, Mr Byrne - welcome back.)

His column today [Sept 30], however, made me chuckle rather than foam. This - in all seriousness - is the opening line:

The American public on Monday stuck it to the “knowledgeable and sophisticated” elites who warned that without the $700 billion federal financial bailout plan all hell would break loose.

Um, the ‘elite’ leading the charge for the bailout was none other than Mr Byrne’s president, George W. Bush.

Bryne complains about the choice that we, American taxpayers, are being forced to make:

We who hesitate are lost. On top of that, the public was asked to pick its poison immediately, without congressional hearings, extensive public debate or any other accouterments of a democratic republic. The public was required to accept the edict. No look before you leap.

Now… of what does this remind me? The insistence that we accept at face value what we are told despite what appears to be a reckless investment of capital into a risky adventure that no one has taken the time to think through… What could it be?

But, credit to Mr Bryne for both calling out Bush as ‘elitist’ and then railing against Speaker Pelosi for:

…let[ting] loose with a nasty partisan attack totally inappropriate for the quality of the debate. You had to see it to believe it: There was rational debate on the House floor, indeed in a spirit of bipartisanship, and then she comes along blaming President George W. Bush for everything.

To be fair, I don’t disagree with some of his points - the bailout plan was rather rushed; hopefully there will be a better plan sometime this week.

But what I adore about Byrne’s column is it appears totally devoid of irony (at least when it’s not coming from the Left).

Now that’s something you have to see to believe.

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Check your registration for Chicago residents and suburban Cook County residents online. Everyone else, call your county clerk - their number can be found here.

Chicago residents: if your status is ‘Inactive’ call 312.269.7936 to resolve the issue and be prepared to bring your driver’s license to the polling place.

Illinois registration continues through October 7th. You can download, print out and mail in your registration form here.

You can also register in person at various city, county and state offices - including the Secretary of State’s office if you’re renewing your license. Public schools and libraries also can provide these services.

To register in person, you need two forms of ID, one of which must have your current address. To register, by mail you will need your driver’s license or State ID card number. Failing that you need either the last four digits of your SSN and photo ID or a utility bill, check, etc. that shows your current address.

Grace Period Registration continues through October 21st. But you have to visit one of six Cook County offices. (Different in other areas, obviously…)

Early Voting - October 13-30 - There are fifty locations in Chicago (for Chicago residents) and forty-four in suburban Cook. You may vote at any of the locations, respectively. Early voting locations places are open 9-5, Monday through Saturday (including Columbus Day, 13 October). You must bring a state-issued ID to vote early.

Voting on Election Day: Tuesday, November 4 - Polls are open from 6am until 7pm. If you vote on election day, you must vote at your polling place. It listed on your voter card or you can check your polling place by checking your registration online (Chicago).

If you are in line at 7pm, you must be allowed to vote. Do not be turned away. If your workday spans the entirety of open polling times, your employer must give you two hours off to vote.

Various Chicago voting nonsense: if you have voted in your polling place before and are in the signature book (a white slip) - you are not required to show ID. It’s always a good thing to bring along in case of a canvas challenge, but - as a voter - you are allowed to speak to other voters and to question a judge who asks for ID from a voter in the book with a white slip.

While we’re talking about the book - this is the proper order of things at the polling place.

1. Your give your name and your application should be located in the book.
2. You sign your application.
3. It is checked against your signature in the book (white slips).
4. Your application is then removed, given to you and you exchange it for your ballot.

You should NOT be given your application before your signature is checked. You should NOT have to ‘check in’ with a partisan pollwatcher beforehand. Partisan pollwatchers should NOT be sitting at the table with election judges. (I’m looking at you, precinct in the Hamlin Park gym in 2004…)

And remember - no matter how much your precinct captain insists - you’re only allowed to vote once. One time.

Report any and all irregularities to the Board of Elections (312.269.7900/312-269-7867).

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And as soon as I wrote that nonsense below I thought of some other nonsense to write about.

Until you live somewhere else, you never really hear your own accent. When you live really somewhere else, you recognise it instantly. I do full-body takes when I hear Midwestern accents on the streets of Melbourne.

It’s especially funny when you hear it in things with which you’re previously familiar. When I watch The West Wing these days, I like Bradley Whitford (Josh) all the more for his dulcet lower-Wisconsin tones.

What prompted this post was listening to my favorite band of all time, the Smoking Popes. Listening to ‘Sandra’ I heard (also) Josh sing:

I know what’s going on…

But, like a good (suburban) Chicago boy, he didn’t say ‘on’. He said ‘aaahn’ - just the way I say it (though minus the suburban bit).

If you ever want to hear my accent, just get me to say the following sentence:

Oh my god! Mom, stop making me talk about my goddamn Chicago accent!

And get me drunk first; I’m a Northsider, but that shit comes out.

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First it was cougars. Cougars (well, a cougar) five blocks from my house.

Now it’s an armed standoff a mere three blocks away. And by standoff, I mean a guy in his house for 2.5 hours before surrendering peacefully to police.

Someone go protect my mother before Kalashnikov-wielding pandas descend on the family home.

Actually, someone protect the pandas. She will not take kindly to someone coming in and messing up her dining room table, no sir.

I’m not even allowed to set my water bottle on it; imagine the mess with pandas!

ps - Make sure to check out the Tribune’s helpful ‘Area of Threat’ map. Though, arguably, one could just zoom in on the coach house where a single individual was holed up rather than calling it an ‘area.’ Hilariously, the url it reads ‘lakeview-threat-map.’ Love it.

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I haven’t even read this article, but I think it’s worth noting that the NYT doesn’t even bother citing the city when talking about ‘the South Side’.

If you’re talking about politics and a ’side,’ Chicago seems implied.

Sigh, I talked about tacos at dinner tonight. I’d kill for some al pastor. Or a veggie burrito from El Pacifico.

When I long for Mexican, I strive to remember how good the seafood is here.

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They’re, like, actually celebrating it. This is the headline currently running on the Trib’s website:

In celebration of “4/20,” here’s a dime bag’s worth of marijuana facts.

Given the paper’s traditional conservative bent, I was expecting something along the lines of, ‘Pot will turn you into a useless hippie, hippie.’

I certainly did not expect a reasonably attractive graphic containing anecdotes about Louisa May Alcott stories. Or this:

6. Marijuana interferes with short-term memory so users forget what they just said or did. Marijuana interferes with short-term memory so users forget what they just said or did.

This is kind of screwing with my conceptions of the Tribune, but it does explain the cougar captions…

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Chicago police killed a cougar in my neighborhood Monday.

I was reading along, scrolling down to see where on the northside the animal had been found. Little did I expect to see:

The animal was shot by police shortly before 6 p.m. Monday in the 3400 block of North Hoyne Avenue, police said.

That’s five blocks from my house!

My guess is that the cougar was en route to my mother’s for hugs from me, but didn’t realize that I don’t home until July. Poor bunny.

What did my loquacious mayor have to say about the incident?

“Now, I just want to tell you, if the cougar attacked a child, they’d sue the city because the police officer didn’t do their job,” Daley said”I didn’t see a neighbor run out and grab it and say, ‘Oh I love you’ and bring it in the house.”

I repeat, I don’t come home until July.

And, boy, it must have been a slow news day at the Tribune. The front page is currently rocking a photo of police covering the dead animal with a cloth. The story is an absurd 1,050 words long, and has two reporters on the byline, as well as third contributor. Which I guess you need to write that much cougar copy.

Dear lord. You’d think it was the story about the coyote walking into a West Loop sandwich shop and climbing in the drinks fridge. (Which happened right near my old work, actually. Animals love me.)

Update: There is also the most amazing/absurd photo gallery of the cougar’s crime scene. 2,4,6 are the best - the captions are incredible. And 14 would get a big tick in the ‘images of metacoverage’ box on my research coding schedule.

Link:
Cougar killed on North Side may have wandered from Black Hills [Chicago Tribune]

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Nope. It is March goddamn 21st over there.

[Photo by Bahareh]

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