Completely Unnecessary

ABC News recently covered ‘purity balls,’ which are, of course, the creepiest thing since… wow, I actually can’t think of anything creepier.

Here’s the short version: Tweens attend a ball where vows are made, white cake is eaten, and dancing is danced - all with their dads! The girls take a vow to remain chaste until marriage, while their dads “vow to protect the girls’ chastity until they marry,” presumably with shotgun.

Call me crazy, but your teenage years are when you’re supposed to break out, challenge the notions you parents have put in front of you. Not so young Sarah, 12, who states:

“I’m going to stay pure until I’m married and I’m not going to date or kiss a boy…”

And won’t that be a fun wedding night? Married to someone you’ve never kissed, let alone dated. Best of luck honey; I hope all your… dreams (?) come true. They appear to mostly involve Daddy, but we’ll leave that to the side.

Chastity!

In fact, 88 percent of pledgers wind up breaking their pledge and having sex before marriage, according to a study by Peter Bearman, the chair of Columbia University’s Department of Sociology, and Hannah Bruckner of Yale.

The study examined the sex lives of 12,000 adolescents and found teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage have the same rates of sexually transmitted diseases as those who don’t pledge abstinence.

But some fathers discount the studies, and think their relationship with their daughters will help them stay strong.

Said one purity dad: ‘Cuz we’re different than those other fathers - the vast, vast, vast majority of fathers. Also, I think scientists are whores.

ps. This was an especially nice touch on ABC News’ part:

Young women and some young men sign virginity pledges at churches…

Keep up the good work, guys.

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A study released yesterday reported that nearly all Americans (95%) have had premarital sex. This is totally weird because… oh wait, it’s not. It does, however, throw into sharp relief the foolishness of abstinence-only education, especially for the under 30 set.

Imagine giving advice that you know 95% of people are going to ignore, and that you, yourself, probably ignored. It seems fruitless, but it is bearing fruit for some - to the tune of at least $50 million a year since 1998. Millions of dollars to people who tell kids that condoms have tiny holes or that having sex is like eating wet Cheetos chewed up by someone else.

Luckily, I’ve totally stopped having sex and am LOVING! my second virginity.

Most Americans Doin’ It [USA Today]

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Do you know anyone having sex? Are you, yourself, having sex? Are you under 30? The federal government wants you to know that it’s bad, bad, bad.

And they’re spending your tax dollars to do it.

“The message is ‘It’s better to wait until you’re married to bear or father children,’ ” Horn said. “The only 100% effective way of getting there is abstinence.”

The revised guidelines specify that states seeking grants are “to identify groups … most likely to bear children out-of-wedlock, targeting adolescents and/or adults within the 12- through 29-year-old age range.” Previous guidelines didn’t mention targeting of an age group.

…

For last year’s state grants, Congress appropriated $50 million. A similar amount is expected for 2007, but the money has not yet been allocated, according to the Administration for Children and Families.

The government must also insist that you finish your broccoli and be in bed by ten.

Via Just About Everyone This Morning and USA Today

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Biting Beaver recounts her story of attempting to get EC in Ohio. It is horrific in ever sense of the word.

“No.” I state plainly. “I am not married. I’ve been in a relationship for several years and I have three children, I don’t want a fourth.” I respond tersely.”Oh, I see.” He says and then he hurries on, “Well, see. *I* understand. I want you to know that I understand what you’re saying. But see, the problem is that we have 4 doctors here right now but only one of them ever writes EC prescriptions. But see, the thing is that he’ll interview you and see if you meet his criteria. Now, I called the pharmacy but I also talked to him and well….*clears throat*….you can come down and try to get it. You know, if you meet his criteria he’ll give you a prescription, I mean, there’s really no harm in trying.” the nurse trails off, his voice falters as I realize what I’m being told.

He continues, almost over eager at this point to distance himself from the hospital, “See, I understand what you’re saying and all. I think it’s a good thing that it’s going over the counter. I just thought I should tell you what he told me. You know, you’ll just have to have an interview with him and he’ll see if you meet his criteria. He’ll only be on duty until 2pm today though and you should ask for him if you decide to come down because he’s really your only chance.”

I sigh and thank him before hanging up. I know exactly what he was telling me. If I wasn’t raped and wasn’t married then too damn bad for me.
…
Folks, the condom broke Friday night and I searched all weekend for someone who could prescribe me EC. It is now Monday and I have to report that I have been unable to find anyone who will write me a fucking prescription for EC. None of the hospitals in the surrounding counties would write it for me. I stopped my search at about 100 miles from my home because my telephone book wouldn’t take me out any further than that.

I left a comment telling her that I was willing to get EC from my doctor and overnight it to her for the future, which I am, of course, willing to do for anyone, at any time. Please, please seek out me or friends who will do the same if you find your self in such an appaling situation.

[ Via - Boing Boing]

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