Completely Unnecessary

Here’s the direct mail I got today from Mike Quigley, one of the candidates in the Democratic primary to fill the seat of Honorable Vacancy - IL05.

Um, it just me or does Quigley’s ad seem strikingly (some might say ‘actionably’) similar to Geico’s dollar bill ad?

Except for the quality of the image - Quigley’s ad looks like they took photos of Thin Mints and someone got a bit munchy on the Feigenholtz - I’d say Team Quigley is one googly eye away from a lawsuit.

And see, it sucks that now my attention has been drawn to this ad because I really like Mike Quigley - I think he’s more useful on the Cook County Board, but I like him.

But now, I’ve opened up the advert, so now I have to show you the most redonk photo of Blagojevich ever - not surprisingly directly next to Feigenholtz, Fritchey and Todd Stroger.

The man is many things, but he’s not that orange. Incredibly, my camera has actually improved its color and tone - the original provides a greater jack o’lantern effect.

There are also two missing commas in this sentence:

Sara Feigenholtz and John Fritchey voted for Rod Blagojevich’s sales tax hike that [sic] combined with Todd Stroger’s tax hike [sic] made Chicago’s sales tax the HIGHEST IN THE NATION.

(Yes, yes, I know. Who am I to cast the first grammar stone? But, seriously, I proof things I write for money.)

Given all the political circuses as of late, I, for one, am looking forward to the March 3rd primary.

And - provided Geico is not aggressively litigious - to Mike Quigley’s continued excellent work on the Cook County Board. (Sorry, Mike.)

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Wow, US parliamentary procedure is insane. There are multiple senators now escorting the Chief Justice from the chamber. Looks like a pretty solid old man to me; I’m sure he had it.

WAIT - they were crapping on about how much they wanted to get back to work and now they’re on recess until 4pm next Wednesday?

Well, after the hard work of being in session for two weeks, I suppose they need a week off.

Anyway, Rod Blagojevich was just removed from office.

Everyone was all sort of ‘good riddance’, especially Meeks (D-Chgo) who responded “absolutely!” when asked if Blago should be prevented from holding office in IL ever again.

So that’s that. A friend of mine said ‘Congrats, Gov Quinn!”, but I say wait until he’s actually sworn in.

For all we know, Blago’s taken all the state monies and kittens and is absconding to Canada to buy low-cost prescription drugs for old people.

Update: Apparently to combat any shenanigans, they stealth swore in Pat Quinn. He is governor! And only Alexi Giannoulias saw, as Alexi Giannoulias is happy to tell you all over your tvs.

5:27: Jesus, ABC7 reporter Chuck Goudie freaking called Blago as they un-governored him. He switched over from the other line and said, ‘Hey.’

This fact was just reported on my tv.

I imagine the nail in the coffin for Blago was finding Chuck Goudie on his phone at that life-changing moment.

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It’s a testament to how nerdy I am that this just completely made my day:

At 9:46 a.m., another reporter walked into the press office.

“Good morning,” [Deputy Press Secretary Bill] Burton said.

“I came to introduce myself,” the woman said. “I’m Helen Thomas.”

Other notes from President Obama’s first day are here.

Twenty four hours….. now.

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Poor blog - left to the side when I have better things to do.

But! Since I’m in vague study mode, now seems a good time to run down random crap.

Firstly, Roland Burris. I keep hearing things from non-Illinois talking heads about how qualified he is, etc. I admit that Burris is probably the most qualified person that would accept an appointment from Blagojevich, but that does not make him qualified for the senate seat, per se.

Four times the voters of Illinois said, “Meh, no thanks,” to Roland Burris. And that was for city and state office. If he’s so keen to be the junior Senator from Illinois, why did he never throw his hat in the ring before now? [Ed.- Sorry, I meant except for early in his career (1984) when he was Comptroller.]

Perhaps a resigned recognition of his popularity amongst voters had something to do with it.

Anyway, looks like Reid’s going to back down. But I guarantee that Burris will lose yet another statewide primary in 2010 if he chooses to run again. (Though I sincerely doubt he has any interest in doing that.)

Teen pregnancies are up in 26 states (for those of you doing the math at home, that’s over half). Some people are laying the blame at the feet of the $178mil we spend on abstinence only education in our schools.

For shame, you uterus-coddling liberals.

And finally, the reason the Obama’s couldn’t move in early to Blair House is… John Howard!

Everyone’s favorite slumming-it-on-YouTube former PM will be in town to receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Yes.

I nearly blogged about the medal the other day, but there was still a bit of spit up in my mouth. The combination of the medal plus the rejection of the Obamas earns my hair-trigger moral outrage.

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It’s a rainy day here in the Windy City, but perhaps rainier than most for Governor (and so-to-be-felon) Rod Blagojevich.

I think this text from my mother sums it up best:

Feds nabbed Blago this am. News conference at 11.

Among the pay-to-play allegations is that Blago may have also offered up a union-preferred candidate for Obama’s Senate seat in exchange for a (cheerfully unelected) spot in the Obama administration.

Oh Blago, is there nothing from which you won’t try to personally profit? How about lemonade stands in the Manor? Getting your kickback, Governor?

And this comes just a week after our last remaining Senator, Dick Durbin, asked President Bush for clemency on behalf of George Ryan, our previous (and officially felonious) governor.

Apparently being old gets you out of prison, even after ten years of widespread corruption and a complete lack of remorse for said activities. I’m sure all the old people in prison on lame drug charges, etc. will be very pleased.

Oh, you mean it only counts if you’re politically connected? Bummer.

Anyway, now no one knows what to do about Obama Senate seat because Blago still gets to appoint unless he resigns (ha!). Whether any of the people currently in the running want to be associated with this hot mess remains to be seen. Trying to run for reelection in two years with your name firmly attached to Blago? Might as well run for governor.

In schendenfreude news, the governor’s birthday is tomorrow.

In kind of tacky news, his kids were probably home when he was arrested. I agree that he might have hit the road if he knew the feds were coming, but wait til the kids go to school, Fitzy.

Update: We made the BBC’s News Hour! The presenter’s pronunciation of Blagojevich was amusing.

Update II: Fitzgerald’s press release is pretty damning. And the criminal complaint is up as well. [h/t Chicago Tribune]

Update III: In the press conference, Grant makes it clear that they went to the house early to avoid the media and waking the kids up.

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A couple friends and I took a trip to charming Adelaide last month.

Cleaning out my mobile’s inbox has yielded some treasures of Melbourne bias against their South Australian neighbours.

Everyone I was in communication with that weekend expressed concern after learning I was in Adelaide, but two reactions stand out (names removed to protect the guilty):

One: Why the fuck are you in Adelaide? And, yes, of course it’s a hole.

Two: Yikes! How did you end up there?

No one assumed we’d gone there of our own free will.

To be fair, we spent most of the weekend terrified of inappropriate touching and/or being vomited on. (I haven’t been as afraid of being touched since a man in San Jose, Costa Rica grabbed me and asked for money.)

One incident in particular, I think, sums it all up pretty well. A girl in a kebab shop walked up to Violeta and me and declared, “I’m not going to kill anybody tonight!”

She was an employee.

On the upside - there is great Greek food (and fig martinis) and a reasonably good breakfast place. (Your concierge, however, will not know these things. I could be a better concierge after one weekend in Adelaide than either of the two men employed by they hotel at which we stayed.)

In summary, Melburnians may hate Sydneysiders, but they are dismayed by Adelaideians (Adelaidwegians?)

[Sigh, I will do anything to avoid work. I have both cleaned out my inbox and then blogged about it.]

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Spring!

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Look, I’m not the fittest cat on the planet. I do things like reading for a living and abhor things like running. It’s clear to me that I’m not most likely Olympian.

In addition, there are some sports that just look really difficult. Like hurdles. Or shotput. It looks hard as hell to throw a shotput. [Or is shotput the name of the sport and the ball is called something else?]

But while I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be a shotputress, I’m pretty convinced that I could play water polo at an Olympic level.

Granted, tonight is the first time that I’ve ever seen water polo on teevee, but it looks mostly like short bursts of swimming (check), treading water (check) and close-range throwing (checkish).

[Also, why isn't it called 'water soccer' (or 'football'), since it closely resembles soccer and completely lacks any sticks.]  [To that end, why isn't polo called 'horse hockey'? There's a sport I could get behind.]

Actually, the only thing keeping me from a water polo career is the thought of being wet again today (or ever again). I know we’re all supposed to be happy about the precipition given the status of the dams, but cold, driving rain is my least favorite weather ever. I felt (and looked) as though I’d been drowned when I got to school today.

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See, here’s what I like about Australia.

Despite the fact that the Labor and Liberal parties usually sit on opposite sides of the fence, both know that it’s time for abortion actually become legal in Victoria.

Abortion procedures have been de facto legal for years - your doctor is likely to accept any reason for a procedure - but having an actual law that guarantees the right of Victorian women is an important step.

No woman should have to justify her decisions to a doctor, the State or anyone.

That’s what’s missing from the that cavalcade of legislation that is currently making it more and more difficult for American women to exercise their right to medical procedures deemed legal by their government.

It’s comforting to see both Premier John Brumby and Opposition Leader Ted Baillieu behind this legislation. It demonstrates the depth of support behind Victorian women and the confidence in their ability to make rational choices.

More importantly, it exemplifies the ability of Victorian officials to get behind commonsense legislation, despite partisan politics.

This legislation has been brewing for years, and full support behind those who will vote for it next week.

Link:
New Law to Give Abortion Right [The Age]

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Man, I should have forseen that watching the Olympics would be better with Aussie commentators.

This is, of course, a country where the commentator at the family-focused Birdman Rally was only (gently) told off after about the tenth ‘fuck’ in a row. Many a ‘pissed’, ’shit’ and ‘damn’ went past entirely unnoticed.

The commentary hasn’t been quite that colorful, but the gymnastics pointless chatter is way better than the States. Notably, there is no (what I swear I remember as being) Bryan Adams. Who is the pop singer who does women’s gymnastics commentary?

Anyway, he’s not there. And there’s a reasonably cantankerous woman on the Aussie commentating team. She appears to be named Liz (this are paraphrases):

Liz: Well, that’s a 0.1 to 0.3 deduction for that on beam. Depending on how harsh the judges are.

Guy: Well, Liz, I bet you’d be taking the 0.3

Liz: Well, I’d be right.

Commentary later tonight included:

That is not was the Ukranian team needed right now.

And:

And she’s had an absolute horror of a showing thus far. Let’s see if she can do… and she’s stepped out of bounds.

It’s been pretty amazing. I just hope the Aussies make it into the top eight so I actually get to see (hear) more of Liz. She is awesome.

Speaking of gymnastics awesome, this (I think) is a clip of Kerri Strug at the 1996 Olympics. Can I tell you how much I would not vault a second time on a busted ankle? I am weak-willed and do not have the spirit of an Olympian:

I think it’s the right video that’s been taken down off this Gawker post. But who can be sure, since my bandwidth has been throttled for the rest of the month? Thanks Australia. (We’re going to kill you in the gymnastics, too…)

Like Richard, I love the Olympics - human rights abuses and all. And I like indoor sports, so no smog.

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