Completely Unnecessary

Do you know anyone having sex? Are you, yourself, having sex? Are you under 30? The federal government wants you to know that it’s bad, bad, bad.

And they’re spending your tax dollars to do it.

“The message is ‘It’s better to wait until you’re married to bear or father children,’ ” Horn said. “The only 100% effective way of getting there is abstinence.”

The revised guidelines specify that states seeking grants are “to identify groups … most likely to bear children out-of-wedlock, targeting adolescents and/or adults within the 12- through 29-year-old age range.” Previous guidelines didn’t mention targeting of an age group.

…

For last year’s state grants, Congress appropriated $50 million. A similar amount is expected for 2007, but the money has not yet been allocated, according to the Administration for Children and Families.

The government must also insist that you finish your broccoli and be in bed by ten.

Via Just About Everyone This Morning and USA Today

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• Sweet, passionate success.
• Fingers in Ears

Wow, I couldn’t be more excited about writing this blog today. There has been a bounty of horrible things you can do on the internet, and I’ve participated with the glee of an eight-year old rolling down a hill.

Firstly, most have heard about AOL releasing the searches of 500,000 members. But! Did you know that you can look people up (by #) or by search (for instance: “baby boiling”) and read their entire search histories?

Glory of glories, you can. All you have to do is go to this link and enter a user number.

I give to you AOL customer (or, as I believe, at least two, possibly three customers sharing one account) # 711391. The Poor Man Institute is calling this the “Greatest Character Study in Literary History,” and I have to agree. What novel could possibly take the reader from ” how to kill annoying birds in your yards” to “pink pussy lips” to “meeting an online friend” to “the guy i had an affair with won’t leave me alone” to “i feel bad cause the person i had an affair with got caught but i didn’t” and everywhere in between? No modern American author has gone where 711391 has gone. Amazing. Make sure to pay attention to the beginning of the month in both April and May, but really the whole saga is captivating.

You can also search by searches, meaning that you can find everyone who searched for some permutation involving the word “lemongrass” if you’d like. Or, as Latest Searches suggests, “shit in my mouth.” Whatever you fancy.

Moving on!

Thanks to Noel Black of The Stranger, I ordered myself $91.00 worth of free crap from Focus on the Family today! This includes The Chronicles of Narnia on DVD, which they valued at $30.00 - I think that’s over-priced. But really, it’s under priced, because when you buy things from Focus on the Family, the cost is a suggested donation. My actual donation was $0.00. Check it out, below:

Mr. Black gives you the run down on how to do it, and encourages you to sell your stuff on Ebay, thus profiting off of these hateful, but generous, do-gooders. I dunno, I’m pretty excited to read For Women Only. It’s going to tell me everything I need to know about men. Not to mention the obvious, sitting right up there at number 1.

Also, it appears you can do this as often as you want, though FotF will only give you $100 at any given time.

Lastly, in accordance with my unyielding fear of eHarmony, Brian has been kind enough to provide us all with this YouTube video:

Thanks to Brian, James Dobson, and AOL for rocking so incredibly hard.

One last matter of business: In 7-10 business days who would like to come over and watch Narnia? Please bring cupcakes.

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• It’s Purity Ball Season!
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