Thank you, Alan
I thought it would take a couple days for me to get back to full ‘YEAHH!’ strength (and that reference is here), but thanks to one man, I’m in a fabulous mood.
Alan Keyes has announced he’s running for president.
For those of you not familiar with the Mr Keyes, he was Obama’s opponent in the 2004 IL Senate campaign, and he is absolutely, 100% hilariously nuts. You know, once you get past the raging homophobia.
Here’s how great the 2004 Senate campaign was: Signs supporting candidates are pretty popular in Chicago (though it’s no Minnesota). I was driving around one day, close to the election, and saw a Keyes sign. I had to look more than once to identify what it actually was - because I had never seen one before. It was literally only one I ever saw, and it was so unusual that I know exactly where it was: west side of Damen Avenue, about four houses north of George Street.
Cut to the actual election: I was pollwatching that day and the three precincts I closed all gave Obama well over 70% of the vote. We thought that would change once more conservative, southern voters weighed in. Nope. The final breakdown was 70% to 27%. Keyes didn’t even commandeer 1/3 of the vote statewide. And Cook County (Chicago) gave Obama 81% of the vote.
Then John Kerry lost, so that kind of sucked.
But things got a bit better three months later, when Keyes’ daughter came out of the closet. Now, I don’t much like the thought of sexual orientation as a cudgel, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be Maya Keyes, but if someone ever deserved to have his core shaken, it’s Alan Keyes. She’s an activist now - it’s great.
And this man - who called homosexuality ’selfish hedonism’, who accused Mary Cheney of being one such hedonist, who kicked his gay daughter out of the house and refuses to pay for her college (but still has her picture on his website) - this man is running for president.
Because what the Republican Party needed was one more batshit crazy candidate.
Keyes will be at the Republican ‘Values Voters’ debate (US) tomorrow. Below is only a small taste of what you can expect. God, the thought of another Obama/Keyes debate makes my eyes nearly swim with joy.
Links:
Alan Keyes Announces for President! [Reneamerica.us - Keyes' website]
Renew America Homepage [look for the link where you can 'hear Terri laugh']
2004 IL Senate Election Results [CNN]
Alan Keyes’ Daughter Coming Out [CBS News]
h/t to Dan Savage for the YouTube clip, and the best news I’ve heard all week - besides this.
